Awkwardfest 2008

I can't figure it out. No matter how annoying, irritating and Hanyu-illiterate a waiguoren I am, people still seem to want me to hang out with them--even to attend family gatherings, where I'm guaranteed to be nothing but a social leech, smiling and nodding and murmuring basic pleasantries before falling mute once again to gaze curiously at the action going on around me.




So far I've had two opportunities to hang out with the Wang family--an incredibly warm and vibrant clan that knows how to throw a good party (even if they do have unfortunately indiscriminate taste in guests).



Aside from my awe at how graciously my gawking presence was tolerated, the great thing about these events was being able to see a tight-knit, deliciously rambunctious family in action. Even though I could rarely comperehend a word that was said by anyone (most of the family speaks either Shanghaihua or Subeihua, the local dialect in northern Jiangsu province, which means I'm even more linguistically challenged than normal), the familial themes were eerily familiar:

Aggravating questions about marriage/jobs/education: Check.



Teasing about age: Check.



Eating off each other's plates: Well, in China this is actually official practice, whereas in my family we're just rude. Check.



Akward family photos: Check.

Even-more-awkward family hugs: Check.





Cousinly banter: Check--right down to the lewd jokes the adults aren't supposed to hear.



Telling embarrassing stories about the 60-year-old birthday boy in front of an audience of hundreds: Check. Except this time, they had a proper mic.




The trip to Gaoyou to be awkward at Joyce's uncle's 60th birthday, however, was a wholly unique experience. No sooner had we arrived in the small northern Jiangsu town than we were whisked from one food-centred birthday event to another--from a dinner in a hotel's enormous banquet hall to do-it-yourself fireworks in an open lot beside someone's apartment. There were so many people in town visiting we spent the night in massage beds at another uncle's spa. That isn't the weirdest place I've ever slept, but it's definitely up there.




I spent the vast majority of my 20-ish hours in the city lurking in corners, watching goings-on with wide eyes and without the foggiest idea what was going on.

High five.